How to get the ring you want (without being a diva)

When it comes to getting the ring you’ve dreamt of since you were, oh ten, there are some serious do’s and don’ts. Let’s start with the do’s. DO have open conversation with your soon to be husband about what you like. It is perfectly normal and ok to let him know you like rose gold or you like cushion cut or you like pear shaped. This helps him learn these terms (because lets be honest if you say cushion your man is visualizing his chair by his PlayStation and not at all associating that term with future diamonds on your finger.) Cut the guy some slack. By working these key terms into everyday morning conversation over french press, he will slowly become familiar and even be able to wow his friends by how much he “listens.”

DO go ring shopping together. Now this has been debated over centuries. But we feel that 1- talking to an expert is always a good idea. You’ll learn a whole ton of s*** you never even knew you needed to know. 2- what if you change your mind about what you like! Diamonds online look very different than diamonds in person. Trust me. And 3- this will get you and him SO excited to actually see a ring on that finger. And it will make him more inclined to actually pull the trigger and go through with it.

If you truly are worried he’ll pick out something hideous that you’re stuck wearing for at least the next ten years, I suggest, DO pre-approve 3/4 rings and then let him make the final decision. The stress is gone, the anxiety is gone, and all that’s left is excitement- “omg which one will he choose?!” “omg he picked the rose gold ring, that was my favorite all along! Isn’t he just the sweetest?!” Everybody wins.

DON’T. And I mean please for the love of god DON’T, send your man picture after picture of rings to his email. (Guilty, oops). It will drive him crazy. He doesn’t want to be pressured. If he really loves you, he will buy a ring and he WILL propose. He doesn’t need your pestering. He already gets it enough from gramma, and aunt what’s her face, and cousin whatever. It just makes things worse.

And lastly DON’T ruin the surprise. You’ve waited months (maybe years) for the love of your life to ask you to be with him forever. Do NOT ruin this moment. He’s pumped himself up in the mirror, flexing and talking bro language to himself, trying to psych himself out for this moment. Don’t go hunting for the ring. Don’t ask him when/where he plans on popping the big question. Drink a glass of rose and chill. You’ve done enough.

At this point, give up the reins. Let him take control of the details. The jewelry is great and us girls obsess over it for years, but let’s remember the guy giving it to you and how much HE means to you, not the jewelry, and you’re attitude will totally flip. Be 1000% present and live in that moment for as long as you can. Because this only happens once… we hope!


Clink clink!