The Delicate Art of Selecting Your Bridal Party

For the Regina George’s of the class, this is a no brainer. But what about the rest of us that prefer to sit at home and avoid all form of human interaction? Picking your bridal party can feel like picking teams in high school PE class all over again. Let’s see if we can make it a little less painful…

Narrowing it down

I’m actually all for massive bridal parties. If you have 10 best friends, ROCK IT. More power to you!! You may have 3 sisters, 2 best friends from high school, a handful of cousins, and college roommate, give them all the honor of standing by your side if it means that much to you. Let’s look at this roster a little closer…

The girl that has 10 “best friends”

Women use the term “best friend” so loosely these days. (These days- what am I 50?!). A best friend should be someone who knows your soul: behind all the social media, and “everything’s perfect” façade. This person has seen you on your worst days and can be totally raw and honest with you. Just because you’ve known someone since you were 5 doesn’t mean that you’re exactly the best of friends. Time is not what determines the ranking of a friend. It’s not the number of times you talk on the phone. I talk to my “best friends” maybe once a week on the phone if I’m lucky and our schedules coincide. So don’t think you have to include your childhood friend you played with in the neighborhood on Saturdays or even the high school crew you spent every 1st period with. People change from 18 to 30 and its perfectly ok to pick the people who mean the most to you at this present time, not 10 years ago just because you think you “owe it” to them.

The independent woman

On the flip side, don’t pick people just to fill the bench. If you feel closest to 4 women in your life, don’t add 2 more just to fill the bench. That’s so silly! One of the worst feelings is having people there for you during the most intimate day of your life- watching you get ready to marry the man of your dreams- and you’re thinking why are you here right now? If you’re circle is normally tight, keep your bridal party tight. There is no need to impress anyone with how many friends you have! We’ve learned, as we get older it really is about quality over quantity.

How far down the family tree should I go?

I remember having a great conversation with my cousin when she was picking out her bridal party. We have grown up together since we were in diapers, so naturally we both felt the other would be in our bridal party. When the time came we both had the same feelings- “If I have you, then I have to have your sister, and if I have both of you then do our other female cousins get jealous? Would this cause a major rift in our families?” We both decided to draw the line there. Sisters- yes. Cousins- no. In this case, maybe give your favorite cousin a job like picking up the cake, or putting the favor bags together. Something so she still feels included and helpful.

A few things to consider:

If symmetry in photos for you is major then stick with 4, 6, 8, etc. But if one of those woman is a “filler” friend, don’t do it. If your husband has six and you have five, leave it at 5. The only way you may face trouble is if you have 10 and your groom only has 2. Thatttt may look a little lopsided. In that case, I’m sorry but you’ll have to shave off a few. A couple heavier on one side is ok. But 8 heavier… girl you’re just making him look bad! Let the fillers sit in the audience, and keep it decently proportional if you can. Most importantly- go with your gut and forget trying to please everyone else. Bride equals boss, AKA you make the final call.


Clink clink,


Karly Anderson